Chapter 2 - A Day of Training

Chapter 2


The ship was absolutely amazing! We had gotten there just and time too, and Ken was worried, ha! I knew we would make it. Anyway, there were plenty of other passengers, mostly young men and women ready to die in yet another pointless war... But I couldn't complain much. The seats were comfortable and the foot wasn't crap, but like always I can't stand breaking the atmosphere... Flips my stomach inside out in the soles of my feet... But once we were finally in space it just took us another 3 hours in a cramped ship... Only 15 minutes had passed and I was already bored out of my mind. Good thing the pilot was good as his job, but I would have done better... I mean, 4 years of Aviation Science and getting top in class was one of the best things in my life! Then I was punched in the face when society told me I wasn't allowed to fly! Apparently oil has gotten so scarce that they only allow people with special privileges. Who are they to tell me I'm not good enough! It cost a shit load of money to get those 4 years... Oh well I'm going to take a nap...

I see that fog again... but this time it's not as... foggy... I think I can see something in it... Its 2 red dots, wait no... They’re eyes... They are staring at me... Blood red eyes... full of trust and mistrust, good and evil... But the strongest thing I feel... Is Death... The thing tries to talk again, but all there was were muffles... What is it? Who is it? Why is it invading my dreams? Then everything began to shake, the entire area is shaking violently!

"Tim we're going through the atmosphere"

I retched on the ground, though unknown to Ken, it wasn't because of the shaking... We finally landed on Earth V2, still not a very clever name if you ask me, but it was on the planet that the Alpha's were currently attacking, great place to train guys... Lets not expect a sneak attack. But of course Ken with his infinite knowledge reminded me that this planet has the latest of laser defenses. Anything within a mile will be blasted with energy equal to half of the sun. I still think that is bullshit, but I wont push it. The base we were going to be training looked good enough. But honestly they could have gone with a better look then grey, honestly. Anyway as we got inside we were instantly directed to a doctor's waiting room. I hate doctors so much... But 1 physical wasn't going to kill me...

After waiting for a good 2 hours, I was finally able to get a physical. All I could say about it though was that it was boring. Spent the 1st 20 minutes checking my family history, which I hoped I could skip by saying dead, but that didn't work. The exercise part was fun though and the doctor commented on my running capabilities, then continued being boring and scribbled on his clipboard. Last he asked if I wanted any gender specific tests, yeah like I'd willingly agree to having a needle shoved up my... well, never mind... Anyway once that was done I got to see Ken again, but according to him it might be my last.
"What do you mean? Aren't we going to fight on the same battlefield?" exclaimed Tim, not understanding what he meant.
"We are Tim, but how war works these days is we are separated into specialized squads, and with how far apart our respected abilities are there is a chance that we wont fight together..."

That was it, after that he went off to the trainer and was sent off to do, god knows what... Then of course it was my turn, except my trainer was hotter, but I was too... depressed, to even care... Well she put me into my training room, and I have to say I was really surprised. It was a cylindrical room with neon blue tiling and a single chair. Was this a joke? At that point a speaker came on and told me to take a seat. This was going to be weird as hell, I could feel it. Once I sat on the chair a suit rose from the ground in front of it. They asked me to strip myself and put it on. Though I was a bit unwilling to strip tease for the army I did it anyway. The suit was uncomfortable and itchy and I knew it was going to give me a rash, but the woman said that it would end soon and I would feel fine. I had no idea what she meant, and I hoped to god that there wouldn't be more stress involved in this, I dealt with enough at the moment. But I soon realized what she meant. It all flashed by so quickly that I didn't think I would remember, but strangely it all stuck in my mind like I personally experienced it. But that's exactly what happened. Time after time I would seem to be in someone’s body fighting in some war and then a second later be put into another body from another way. Now normally it wouldn't be so bad, but it was the voices, and the pain... It was as if every emotion and every thought rushed into me at the same time.

When I thought it would never end it finally stopped, and I finally notice that I am lying on the ground, crying. It hurt so much... But I learned much as well, it's just... hard to describe what I feel...
"Good work Tim, please follow Ms. Becker to your room and rest while you can. You are to be shipped out into combat tomorrow."
"Tomorrow! But I just got here!" Yelled Tim in a rage of pain and fury,” It’s not possible to go into combat after that much mind blowing shit! I wanted to stab my temples!”
“That effect is only temporary Tim, and you will see that after a good rest that you will be fit for combat.”
Fit for combat my ass… My mind is still whirling from that damned machine… And I don’t care what she says this suit is still… Suit?
“Um, wait, can I get my clothes back?”
“Your new clothes are waiting in your room, just put the suit outside your door, someone will pick it up shortly.”
New clothes? I wanted my old clothes back… But there was no point in arguing with these people.

When I finally got to my room I wasn’t too surprised to see how pathetic it was. It had all a hotel would and that was it… I was surprised there wasn’t a complementary mint on my pillow… But there they were, my new clothes. And wouldn’t you guess it, grey… This is bull crap…

The only good thing about this day was I didn’t lose my hair…

Word Count: 1164

The ship was absolutely amazing! We had gotten there just and time too, and Ken was worried, ha! I knew we would make it. Anyway, there were plenty of other passengers, mostly young men and women ready to die in yet another pointless war... But, but I couldn't complain much. The seats were comfortable and the foot (food?) wasn't crap, but like always, I can't stand breaking the atmosphere... Fflips my stomach inside out in the soles of my feet... Bbut once we were finally in space it just took us another 3 three hours in a cramped ship... Oonly 15 fifteen minutes had passed and I was already bored out of my mind. Good thing the pilot was good as his job, but I would have done better... I mean, 4four years of Aaviation Sscience and getting top in class was one of the best things in my life! Then I was punched in the face when society told me I wasn't allowed to fly! Apparently oil has gotten so scarce that they only allow people with special privileges. Who are they to tell me I'm not good enough! It cost a shit load of money to get those 4 years... Oh well I'm going to take a nap...

^More detail needed.^ What does the ship look like? What technology does it use? How big is the ship? How fast does it travel? It it named anything? It's a science fiction novel, use your imagination. ^^ Also a good chance to explain why Tim thought it was a 'pointless war'.

I see that fog again... but this time it's not as... foggy... I think I can see something in it... Iit's 2 two red dots, wait no... Tthey’re eyes... Tthey are staring at me... Bblood red eyes... full of trust and mistrust, good and evil... Bbut the strongest thing I feel... Iis Ddeath... Tthe thing tries to talk again, but all there was were muffles... Wwhat is it? Who is it? Why is it invading my dreams? Then everything began to shake, the entire area is shaking violently!

"Tim we're going through the atmosphere" <---- Punctuation needed, period or exclamation mark.

I retched on the ground, though unknown to Ken, it wasn't because of the shaking... Wwe finally landed on Earth V2! sStill not a very clever name if you ask me, but it was on the planet that the Alpha's were currently attacking, great place to train guys... Llet's not expect a sneak attack. But of course Ken with his infinite knowledge reminded me that this planet has the latest of laser defenses. Anything within a mile will be blasted with energy equal to half of the sun. I still think that is bullshit, but I wont push it. The base we were going to be training looked good enough. But honestly they could have gone with a better look then grey, honestly. Anyway as we got inside we were instantly directed to a doctor's waiting room. I hate doctors so much... B, but 1one physical wasn't going to kill me...

More detail needed. What sort of architecture was the building? What did Earth V2 look like? What were the other passengers talking about? Were there any guards with cool lazer guns? Mention them. Did Ken look nervous or confident? What was Tim feeling? Emotionally.

After waiting for a good 2two hours, I was finally able to get a physical. All I could say about it though was that it was boring. Spent the 1stfirst 20twenty minutes checking my family history, which I hoped I could skip by saying dead, but that didn't work. The exercise part was fun though and the doctor commented on my running capabilities, then continued being boring and scribbled on his clipboard. Last, he asked if I wanted any gender specific tests, yeah like I'd willingly agree to having a needle shoved up my... well, never mind.... Anyway once that was done I got to see Ken again, but according to him it might be my last.
"What do you mean? Aren't we going to fight on the same battlefield?" exclaimed Tim I exclaimed (or asked, yelled, etc.), not understanding what he meant.
"We are Tim, but how war works these days is we are separated into specialized squads, and with how far apart our respected abilities are there is a chance that we wont fight together..."

That was it, after that he went off to the trainer and was sent off to do, god knows what... Then of course it was my turn, except my trainer was hotter, but I was too... depressed, to even care... Well she put me into my training room, and I have to say I was really surprised. It was a cylindrical room with neon blue tiling and a single chair. Was this a joke? At that point a speaker came on and told me to take a seat. This was going to be weird as hell, I could feel it. Once I sat on the chair a suit rose from the ground in front of it. They asked me to strip myself and put it on. Though I was a bit unwilling to strip tease for the army I did it anyway. The suit was uncomfortable and itchy and I knew it was going to give me a rash, but the woman said that it would end soon and I would feel fine. I had no idea what she meant, and I hoped to god that there wouldn't be more stress involved in this, I dealt with enough at the moment. But I soon realized what she meant. It all flashed by so quickly that I didn't think I would remember, but strangely it all stuck in my mind like I personally experienced it. But that's exactly what happened. Time after time I would seem to be in someone’s body fighting in some war and then a second later be put into another body from another way. Now normally it wouldn't be so bad, but it was the voices, and the pain... It was as if every emotion and every thought rushed into me at the same time.

When I thought it would never end it finally stopped, and I finally notice that I am lying on the ground, crying. It hurt so much... But I learned much as well, it's just... hard to describe what I feel...
"Good work Tim, please follow Ms. Becker to your room and rest while you can. You are to be shipped out into combat tomorrow."
"Tomorrow! But I just got here!" Yelled Tim I in a rage of pain and fury,” It’s not possible to go into combat after that much mind blowing shit! I wanted to stab my temples!”
“That effect is only temporary Tim, and you will see that after a good rest that you will be fit for combat.”
Fit for combat my ass… My mind is still whirling from that damned machine… And I don’t care what she says this suit is still… Suit?
“Um, wait, can I get my clothes back?”
“Your new clothes are waiting in your room, just put the suit outside your door, someone will pick it up shortly.”
New clothes? I wanted my old clothes back… But there was no point in arguing with these people.

When I finally got to my room I wasn’t too surprised to see how pathetic it was. It had all a hotel would and that was it… I was surprised there wasn’t a complementary mint on my pillow… But there they were, my new clothes. And wouldn’t you guess it, grey… This is bull crap…

The only good thing about this day was I didn’t lose my hair…

A lot more description is possible. Try your best with that, I don't like writing science fiction because you honestly have to make up everything. Got to be really creative for this genre. Also, you would do your reader(s) a great favor if you used less ellipsis. Hah, not trying to be rude but the number of them are ridiculous. I've never read a book, and I'm sure you haven't either, with that many ellipsis. It's ACCEPTABLE for a pause in dialog, but really, a comma works just as well.

You also wrote sometimes, after Tim said something "Yelled Tim in a fit of rage," You chose to write in 1st person, so you got to stick with that. "I yelled in a fit of rage," Is what you need to write.