| Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- | |
|
+15I.Spit.On.Joo Melissa Nokiemens Quartz-The Earth Djinn Rpaholic CaR HoppeR drevild[rp] bestdragon3 Dragoon16 Antynator Nevermore cowsmacker power_of_ghost Hinaoki 0blivion 19 posters |
|
Author | Message |
---|
Nokiemens Mars
Posts : 527 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-24 Age : 29 Location : Wandering the streets.
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Sat Sep 26, 2009 3:38 pm | |
| | |
|
| |
Quartz-The Earth Djinn Mercury
Posts : 337 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-23 Age : 31 Location : The Realm Between
| |
| |
The Masked Man Mars
Posts : 593 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-30 Age : 31 Location : New Pork City
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Sat Oct 03, 2009 10:51 pm | |
| Why did the Fabrication Machine climb over the hill?
To get shot by a 2-ton shell of explosives.
xD lols | |
|
| |
Nokiemens Mars
Posts : 527 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-24 Age : 29 Location : Wandering the streets.
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Wed Oct 07, 2009 6:43 pm | |
| What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding? A baby in a microwave.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion. You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.
If a tree falls on a baby in the forest, and no one is around to hear it, is it still hilarious?
How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. | |
|
| |
bestdragon3 Venus
Posts : 1116 Reputation : 1 Join date : 2009-08-22 Age : 31
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Wed Oct 07, 2009 9:22 pm | |
| Women may not hit harder, but they hit lower. | |
|
| |
The Masked Man Mars
Posts : 593 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-30 Age : 31 Location : New Pork City
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:36 am | |
| What's the difference between a snake and a human?
A human can't fuck itself with it's own tail. | |
|
| |
Gort the mighty Mercury
Posts : 417 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-10-06 Age : 28 Location : Roleplaying on your face
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:37 am | |
| A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" | |
|
| |
The Masked Man Mars
Posts : 593 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-30 Age : 31 Location : New Pork City
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Thu Oct 08, 2009 4:42 pm | |
| | |
|
| |
666 Mercury
Posts : 461 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-14 Age : 28 Location : In that explosion on my avatar.
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:21 pm | |
| Did you hear about the black guy that went to college?
No?
Well fuck, I didn't either! | |
|
| |
Quartz-The Earth Djinn Mercury
Posts : 337 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-23 Age : 31 Location : The Realm Between
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Thu Oct 08, 2009 6:54 pm | |
| ... thats a little racist dont u think? | |
|
| |
666 Mercury
Posts : 461 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-14 Age : 28 Location : In that explosion on my avatar.
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:21 pm | |
| The only reason black jokes are funny is because black people get mad at them, but yes, it is, but why does it matter? | |
|
| |
The Masked Man Mars
Posts : 593 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-30 Age : 31 Location : New Pork City
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Fri Oct 09, 2009 5:57 am | |
| - MP]Sam_Aran[ wrote:
- ... thats a little racist dont u think?
You say that's racist, but you don't mention anything about baby jokes. And you wonder why I hate you. | |
|
| |
Gort the mighty Mercury
Posts : 417 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-10-06 Age : 28 Location : Roleplaying on your face
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Fri Oct 09, 2009 11:26 am | |
| There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour.
Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry."
"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away."
"I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison." | |
|
| |
The Masked Man Mars
Posts : 593 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-30 Age : 31 Location : New Pork City
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Fri Oct 09, 2009 10:19 pm | |
| One night Johnny was home alone, and went to bed. Johnny had a girlfriend as well.
He woke up in the middle of the night, and found that someone was sleeping in his bed, thinking it was his girlfriend, he prodceeded to have sex with her.
Turning on the light to wake her up, he found out that it was his mom, mumbling his dad's name; she was also sweaty and full of her son's seed. | |
|
| |
Nokiemens Mars
Posts : 527 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-24 Age : 29 Location : Wandering the streets.
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:07 pm | |
| This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. All his professionallism goes right out the window... He tells her to take her pants, she does, and he starts rubbing her thighs. "Do you know what I am doing?" asks the doctor? "Yes, checking for abnormalities." she replies. He tells her to take off her shirt and bra, she takes them off. The doctor begins rubbing her breasts and asks, "Do you know what I am doing now?", she replies, "Yes, checking for cancer." Finally, he tells her to take off her panties, lays her on the table, gets on top of her and starts having sex with her. He says to her, "Do you know what I am doing now?" She replies, "Yes, getting herpies - thats why I am here!" | |
|
| |
CaR HoppeR Pluto
Posts : 158 Reputation : -1 Join date : 2009-08-22 Location : Belgrade, Serbia, Balkans, Europe, Earth, Sol System, Milky Way, Universe
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Sun Nov 22, 2009 8:22 pm | |
| | |
|
| |
cowsmacker Mercury
Posts : 317 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-18 Age : 29 Location : Indiana
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Sun Nov 29, 2009 8:57 pm | |
| - Evilgasm wrote:
- A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!" well that guy is fucked. a black man, a jew, a polish guy, a chinese guy, a priest, a redkneck, and a russian walk into a bar. to whitch the bartender replies "what the hell is this a joke" 2 blonds walk into a bar you think they woulda seen it. | |
|
| |
Nokiemens Mars
Posts : 527 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-24 Age : 29 Location : Wandering the streets.
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Sun Nov 29, 2009 9:01 pm | |
| A cucumber, an olive and a penis are talking. The cucumber says "I hate my life, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me in salad." The olive says "That's nothing, when I get big fat and juicy they cut me up and put me on pizza." The penis says "You think you have it bad, when I get big fat and juicy they put me in a bag, throw me in a cave, shut the door and leave me there till I throw up" | |
|
| |
Hinaoki Mars
Posts : 556 Reputation : 0 Join date : 2009-08-14 Age : 27 Location : Lost between the shockwaves.
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- Wed Dec 02, 2009 7:46 pm | |
| Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: "Watson, look up at the stars and tell me, what do you see?"
Watson replied: "I see billions and trillions of stars."
Holmes said: "And what do you deduce from that?"
Watson replied: "Well, if there are billions of stars, and if even a few of those have planets, it's quite likely there are some planets like earth out there. And if there are a few planets like earth out there, there might also be life."
And Holmes said: "Watson, you idiot, it means that somebody stole our tent." | |
|
| |
Sponsored content
| Subject: Re: Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- | |
| |
|
| |
| Make me laugh! -5 points per joke- | |
|